Milton & I go hug Satan to redeem the world…
I’ve had plenty of chaos & old night in my life, from which I’ve run, hidden, or distracted myself. The line is from John Milton’s ‘Paradise Lost’, which has the rebellious angel, Satan, thrown out of heaven for some unconscious act, begin to contemplate the deep realms of hell to which he has been relegated. He says:
“Chaos and ancient Night, I come no spy,
With purpose to explore or to disturb
The secrets of your realm, but by constraint
Wand’Ring this darksome desert, as my way
Lies through your spacious empire up to light…”
He is me, I am him – Satan, the one thrown out of the heavenly realm of pure consciousness – Love, by the unconsciousness that comes from the trauma of this world, the innocent child splitting off parts of herself to please a chaotic and threatening world, then left in the dark realm of old night where nothing makes sense, nothing comes easily until she realises she needs to descend into those shadow realms, not as a spectator (spy) to disturb “the secrets of your realm”, but through absolute necessity, understanding that she has to go through “this darksome desert” knowing that her way “up to the light” leads through its “spacious empire.”
I have compassion for him, this Satan, forever despised by humanity for going agains god, but he is the antagonist, the principle of opposition, without whom there is no creativity, no force of movement. I go to heal Satan in his dark realm, heal the child that feels worthless and must take on a persona of a rebel, into the chaos and old night with only a sense of the light on the other side.
I would go to him where he looks out on this dismal realm, the hell of separation:
“… for now the thought
Both of lost happiness and lasting pain
Torments him; round he throws his baleful eyes
That witnessed huge affliction and dismay,
Mixed with obdúrate pride and steadfast hate:
At once as far as angel’s ken he views
The dismal situation waste and wild,
A dungeon horrible, on all sides round
As one great furnace flamed, yet from those flames
No light, but rather darkness visible
Served only to discover sights of woe,
Regions of sorrow, doleful shades, where peace
And rest can never dwell, hope never comes
That comes to all.”
But I would say hope does come, it comes to all, even to him who thinks he can never deserve it. He was a beautiful innocent once, he still is underneath. To be redeemed he needs love. So, to redeem Satan in myself, the dark unknowable, “perfect evil” (the common misguided notion), I go to him, wrap my arms around him, say: “I love you, I love you, I love you…” with all my heart and soul.
Some would call me a Satanist, and banish me. But we all need to deal with our own inner darkness and stop projecting it onto the world…
